“Well, we needed the rain.”

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“Might I sound a note of caution?”

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“Oh, eternal life is fine, but what I really like is getting to wear flip-flops all the time.”

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“Good sermon, Reverend, but all that God stuff was pretty far-fetched.”

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“Actually, he’s not all that big, but he’s really ripped.”

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“Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I’d get fired.”

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“Bad news—you’re alive, so you have to go back down.”

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“Verily I say unto you that the wife is good, but the mother-in-law . . .”

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“Look, it could be worse—at least we’re dead.”

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“Jitters on Wall Street today over rumors that Alan Greenspan said, ‘A rich man can as soon enter Heaven as a camel fit through the eye of a needle.’ ”

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