“What can I say? Intelligent design isn’t perfect—I forgot to include pockets.”

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“And remember, if you need anything I’m available 24/6.”

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“Scram!”

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“Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog.”

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“Mind if I tweak it?”

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“What’s the takeaway on all this?”

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“I can’t deal with any famines, massacres or epidemics right now—I’ve got to help some guy sink a foul shot.”

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‘Hey, what do you know—a lefty.’

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“Hey, guess what we’re having for dinner tomorrow.”

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“Posthumously yours.”

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“In the future, everyone will have privacy for fifteen minutes.”

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