“Act of God? Not a problem—we sue God.”

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“Let me guess—your gas pedal stuck.”

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“Bad news, good news, sweetheart—the court rejected your appeal, but the networks are fighting to option it.”

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JUVENILE COURT

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“My next guest is a charming grifter with a record as long as your arm. Let’s give him a big ‘Jaws of Justice’ welcome.”

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“Lady and gentleman of the jury, have you reached your verdict?”

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“I don’t care how many chances the buffalo bills got—you’re through!”

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“Yeah, I just got out, and I want to focus on crime again.”

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“Whatever.”

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“Great spot, Al. I didn’t know there was anyplace left that permitted cigar smoking naked.”

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“What can I say? Embezzlement happens.”

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“I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO.”

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“No, Danny can’t come out and play. Danny’s on death row.”

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“And the winner is . . . the prosecution!”

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“Counsellor, please advise yourclient that, issues of personal safety aside, gravity is the law.”

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